How to manage stakeholders effectively

Over the years when implementing change across a range of industries, and different types of change, a realisation hit me while there were cultural differences within organisations, that was also true of stakeholders. A framework is a framework however how you apply it with a flexible mindset and how adaptable you are to your approach will determine your success. And that included adapting to stakeholders, their needs and their 'ways of working'. 

So, how do you master the art of stakeholder management without losing your mind, your momentum, or your mission? Here are some practical ideas to help you approach your stakeholder management in a more effective way.

Stakeholders may not be the issue but your approach might be

The first thing I consider when I am starting to become frustrated with a stakeholder is what can I do differently which may create a different response? Stakeholders come with agendas, priorities, and personalities, just like you. And sometimes stakeholders may seem to be 'difficult' and unpredictable however if you are finding that this is the case the aim shouldn't be to eliminate all tension, it should be to navigate it skillfully by focusing on the things you CAN control.

Apply these rules:

👉 Rule 1: Treat every stakeholder with respect, regardless of how they treat you.

 Sometimes stakeholders come to a table with a bias or their own perception of people. If you buy into that, you will simply be reinforcing this perception. That is why I don't really care about what people's reputations are before I meet them. I prefer to assess someone myself. And regardless of if they are rude, seem to be angry or are overly pedantic, I will be the calm in the storm and set respectful boundaries. I am not saying in this first rule to put up with appalling, degrading behaviour, but don't stoop and reflect that back. Be the person who does their job, keeps everyone informed and if they go low, continue to move forward. Don't take on their 'stuff'.

👉 Rule 2: Leave no one behind.

Sometimes key stakeholders will not attend meetings. Having been a people leader myself, I know that a people leaders calendar can get double booked and sometimes they have an urgent meeting that just can't be de-prioritised. If it's a one off, make sure your stakeholder is kept informed via email or a follow up briefing. If it's a recurring pattern, and that stakeholder is critical to the project's success, then try to engage in a 1:1 and emphasise what you need from them in the form of support. Still not showing up? Well it may (as a last resort) need an escalation or ask to your line manager to have a conversation to encourage a behaviours shift. The aim is to make sure everyone is on board as much as possible. This means ensuring everyone has a seat at the table, whether or not they choose to use it.

👉 Rule 3: Let Go of "Approval Addiction"

This is a common trap. Trying to keep every stakeholder happy is an exhausting recipe for burn out. Spoiler alert if that is what you are aiming for as it’s impossible in most cases, especially if the change isn't a win/win. Your job isn't to win a popularity contest — it’s to facilitate informed discussions, guide decision-making, and manage risks transparently. So if a stakeholder gets upset and tries to project it onto you, the only way around it is to not take it personally and move on.

👉 Rule 4: Adapt based on stakeholder preference - not your preference. After all, not all stakeholders speak the same language

Neurodivergence, communication preferences, and leadership styles mean stakeholders absorb information differently. Some stakeholders for example might request detailed reports. Some just need a five-minute chat, and some need to feel heard before they act. The most difficult of stakeholders I ever found were those who tried to undermine the change. When you have tangible examples of repeated behaviours which weren't he said/she said or she said/she said, but were written and witnessed, well those are ones (few and far between) where an escalation may be needed to get the leadership support required. These are few and far between and only in extreme cases.

Remember to flex your communication style to meet them where they are — not where you wish they were.

 The final and critical rule when working on a change is the Golden Rule of  "No Surprises" 

The best stakeholder relationships are built on transparency, and when you know there is something that is going to be controversial, always always always give those stakeholders a 'heads up' so they don't feel blind sided walking into a meeting discussing an issue which impacts their area but they weren't aware of it. That will breach the trust and good will you may have built with them. Overcommunicate when needed, also so they can consider options beforehand if decisions have to be made. Build trust by living the motto: No surprises, ever.

Use the I.C.E Framework as a starting point

Every stakeholder when assessed based on impact and influence will sit in one of these three categories. You can then apply some simple communication techniques in response to these indicators. From there you can adapt your communication accordingly.

When identifying stakeholders, think in terms of:

• Inform — They need awareness, not deep involvement.

• Consult — Their feedback shapes the path.

• Engage — They are critical to the change’s success.

You can download our Stakeholder Management matrix here.

Stakeholder Management Is Change Management

When stakeholders feel informed, engaged, and respected, they become advocates — not adversaries. This is especially important during project “go-live” when anxiety is high. Frequent, clear updates can calm nerves and maintain momentum. Flexible communication builds champions. Stakeholder management isn’t about playing politics, it’s about practicing empathy, clarity, and courage, even when the room feels tense. Do it well, and you'll turn skeptics into supporters, and resistance into resilience.

Stay connected, stay transparent, and remember: change matters because your people matter (and that includes you).